By Jasbina Ahluwalia
Relationships can be challenging, especially when you find yourself in a repeated cycle of short-term connections. One of the common reasons clients tend to share when they approach us for professional support is along the theme of always seeming to end up in short-term relationships with the same types of men or women despite really wanting a relationship with long-term potential.
Here’s some professional guidance to help readers navigate this situation and find the lasting relationship they desire.
Breaking the Cycle: It’s common to feel stuck in a pattern, often gravitating towards the same type of person. A valuable first step is to reflect on the ‘type’ you generally pursue. Think about their traits and how these have fit (or not fit) into your past relationships. This self-awareness can open your eyes to what you genuinely want versus what you have been choosing out of habit or unconscious bias.
A former client of mine shared an enlightening experience:
“I never thought I had a ‘type,’ but I was very clear about who wasn’t my type. I steered clear of those guys. Jasbina really encouraged me to let go of preconceived notions rooted in aesthetics or arbitrary traits. Now, I meet men who are incredibly sweet, relationship-oriented, and who treat me like a princess. I’ve re-defined my ‘type’ as a result.”
This kind of personalized transformation is possible for you too. Expanding your criteria and releasing limiting beliefs about your ideal partner’s traits can significantly broaden your potential matches.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: One effective strategy is to diversify the types of social events and activities you attend. If you usually gravitate towards the athletic crowd, consider trying an intellectual book club or a creative workshop. Engaging in new environments can introduce you to different people who could align better with your long-term relationship goals.
While exploring these new avenues, challenge yourself to connect with at least three new people. This doesn’t mean you should expect instant romantic sparks, but rather aim to expand your social network and open your mind to different sorts of compatibility.
After these interactions, reflect on a few questions:
- What surprised me most about these new encounters?
- Did I notice any appealing qualities that I hadn’t considered before?
- How can I continue to diversify my social interactions moving forward?
By taking these steps, you won’t just be widening your dating pool – you’ll also be building confidence and becoming a more well-rounded individual.
Transitions like these don’t just broaden your romantic prospects but also bring new energy to your personal growth. Remember, it’s about exploring what you truly want and being willing to discover new paths that lead to genuine connection.
Following a similar direction, one of my clients celebrated her success, sharing:
“He just asked me to be his girlfriend tonight. And I said yes! Thanks for all the incredible coaching!”
You too deserve to find someone special who matches your aspirations for a meaningful, lasting relationship. By opening yourself up to these possibilities, you’re already on the path to finding love that’s aligned with your long-term desires.
(About Matchmaker & Dating Coach Jasbina Ahluwalia: She adds a unique contribution to the Matchmaking industry – she has pioneered an approach to matchmaking, which blends the best of The East and West. She is an Indian-American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach.
She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm for Indian Singles in the US, Canada & the UK. Jasbina previously practiced law in San Francisco and Chicago. She earned her B.A/M.A. in Philosophy from Vanderbilt University, and JD from the University of Michigan Law School.)
