First dates for both men and women can be stressful. All of those little nagging questions in the mind can cause people to close up and feel nervous. To help overcome those jittery nerves, turn to good conversation. Here are five tips to help break the ice.
- Prepare Ahead of Time
Choose five topics that interest you ahead of time, so you know you can default to those if organic conversation doesn’t flow right away.
Choose at least one that is a national news item. This enhances the chances that your date will likely have something to add to the conversation.
If you found her through the online dating sites, look at her profile and learn a bit about what interests her. This is an easy way to get her to talk. Your goal should be to find someone who interests you. One of the best ways to do that is through conversation.
- Don’t Do All of the Talking
Let her talk. Remember that you want to find out “who” she is as a person.
If your goal is to get a second date, then letting her talk allows her to relax and enjoy the conversation.
A good goal for this tip is to use the 40/60 rule. You talk 40 percent of the time and let her talk 60 percent of the time. While she is talking be attentive to what she says. Ask questions and be engaging.
- Be Engaging, not Dismissive
Pay attention to what she says. You want her to feel that what she says is important to you.
This will help stimulate her to be more open and less nervous. A good way to be engaging is to ask questions that are deeper than just surface observation. Don’t edit yourself.
- Focus on Hobbies and Activities
By talking about hobbies and activities, and why she enjoys them, you get to see more of who she is as a woman and person.
This is a good way to find common interests. Things that you have in common are a positive and they can help her feel comfortable enough to accept a second date.
A good tip is to do something on the first date that she likes. This allows her to feel and be more of an authority. It also allows you the opportunity to ask many questions. This leads to stimulating and positive conversation and both of you will have a good time.
- Share Experiences
Share your experiences where they revolve around common interests. The goal here is to build trust and finding experiences that you may have both shared is a great way to do that.
You can improve your odds of getting a second date through first date conversation which is balanced, contains laughter, and reduces nervousness.
(Matchmaker and Dating Coach Jasbina Ahluwalia adds a unique contribution to the Matchmaking industry – she has pioneered an approach to matchmaking, which blends the best of The East and West. She is an Indian-American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach. She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm for Indian Singles in the U.S., Canada & the U.K.)